Day 14 Aug 20th, 2011

So, the past few days have been a roller coaster... i have not really been watching what I'm eating but i also haven't over done it. I'm down to 240lbs from 246lbs and happy as can be.
Night shift is kicking my ass. both mentally and physically. i miss my family and being able to see my son grow up. these feelings throw me in a direction to eat, and not a salad or some grilled chicken and veggies but to eat some good ol' greasy fried comfort food. throw in some tater chips and chocolate and we are golden... maybe some ice cream and cake or anything that is not "good" for you in large amounts.
I hate feeling this way. can't wait for nights to be over and life to go back to normal.

Happy and lucky to say that i have not been following my program and kinda fell off the healthy wagon but i have no gained or lost so... =/
time to get my shit together!

Day 9 (6-9) Aug 15th

It has been some time but i did really well. I was away on a trip this weekend and unable to get to a comp or my phone. Good news thou Sat Aug 13th (day 7) i jumped on the scale and i was 242.3lbs YIPPIE!
i was so excited and that was after i had dinner. not the best time but i forgot to do it earlier so I'm sure i might be a lil less.

The weekend was great i got to get a lot done and thou i did eat out 3times i was good the rest of the time. So today i have a lean steak and onion sammi with melted cheese.. it was yummy!
For dinner i have grilled chicken and black beans and rice YUMMMM

it is nice to be excited to lose at something! my mom made a deal with me once I'm outa the size I'm in she will buy me 2 new pairs of jeans/ shorts... I'm READY TO LOSE! TO WIN

Day 5 Aug 11th, 2011

i was bad today... i weighed myself before the one week mark but i wanted to see if i was doing good r if anything was changing... and it was. i lost 3 lbs
i am so excited! today is my Friday at work and i feel like i have been doing a good job. Tomorrow i am spending the day with my wonderful husband and my son. First time in a LONG time.
Friday AM my son and i will be jumping on a plane going to see grandma and grandpa. Sadly daddy wont be able to make it this time cuz he has to work. boooooo

Well today for dinner was lean burger patty with 2 small red taters and broc and cauliflower... it was Yummy! i am also sipping on my Soda and i have a lil snack cake for later. Earlier on the way in to work i stopped and got a 4pc chicken nugget happy meal for the toy of course...lol

i am so excited to go see my parents... it's a step in the right direction...  well 6 more hours then I'm homeward bound.  g'night all <3

Day 4 Aug 9th, 2011

Part two Day 4

It's not Aug 10th, 2011 but to return to last night i ended up having a salad with about 2oz of dressing and cookie from Jackie! FYI they were amazing i will be bringing one to the hubby. Now to make it thru the rest of the night.

I am looking forward to PARK Day with my son and hubby Thursday!
and the trip to MO

Day 4 Aug 9th, 2011

Well Today was not the best eating day so far, today is deemed my cheat day. my husband said everyone should have one so you don't go crazy. i agree and not that i wanted to have a cheat day yet but we have to get to the store and well it hasn't happened due to our work sched.

So for "breakfast" dinner we had McD's and yes i ate the french fries a lrg sweet tea and a quarter pounder with cheese. like a million calories in one sitting.
I should have thought before i ordered... oh well i can't beat myself up over it cuz it will just put me in a downward spiral and Food will be my comfort.

So, I'm fighting back with food, i have a salad for dinner and i just walked on my 10 min break. i feel great. i can't wait to see some results on the scale. i am trying not to weigh in before my one week, but I'm curious to see if anything has changed... mmmm
until later ♥

Day 3 Aug 8th, 2011

Yesterday went well... everyday is getting easier, until you walk in the kitchen at work and someone has brought in a cake from a party they had at home. CAKE... yummm
No, it is not easy to walk past it and not want a piece, but it was easy to think to myself ...

"Nothing Taste As Good As Thin Feels"

Today I am feeling strong. i have tons of support and people behind me. i have some grilled chicken and broccoli for lunch and dinner. Left the soda at home to keep away from it tonight. I also have oatmeal for b-fast @3am (which is really my dinner) ugg Night shift...

i am excited for this weekend thou i will miss my husband. ♥ Look out MO here we come!

Day 2 Aug 7th, 2011

Today is day 2.
feeling good about my life changes and looked myself in the mirror today and gave myself some positive feed back. i can and i will succeed.
i have already had some of hubby's world famous goulash. and 5 saltines
i stopped on the way to work and got a large french vanilla light and sweetened will slpenda coffee and a reduced fat blueberry muffin for later.
i have another serving of goulash for dinner. 5 wheat crackers =)

Let's see how i do, let you know later!

Problems i face- Getting back in the gym!

Day 1 Aug 6th, 2011

So yesterday was Day 1.
i weighted in at 246, i was not happy but i was pleased to be under 250.
i had a Salad with 2 oz of ranch dressing  and  about 1 1/2 cups of dirty rice with beans & kielbasa.
i also has an orange soda ...yes something i need to go diet with then eliminate.
3- bottles of water... which i felt good about =)
i need to up my water intake  as well as fruit and veggies.. which involves a trip to the store which i have not had time for.

Problems i faced- SWEETS, late night cravings for something yummy and chocolate, but i was able to resist and fight it with my soda probably not the best but better then a snicker and a soda right?

How I got here

So, I'm a lil behind on this but I wasn't sure i wanted to blog or keep a journal that was so public.
Well, yesterday 8-6-11 i made a life changing decision and made it public by posting ..."Today is the day! Some people say it's hard to stop something, for me it's hard to Start. But TODAY I am putting that behind me, today I do something for me! For a while now it's been a battle that I have let beat me... I am taking control now... I will not fail this time for I have Faith in me for the first time in a long time. And I have a husband, that supports me and a son to be healthy for ♥"
I found tons of support from friends and family as i posted this and also a lil bit more of a drive in me to keep with it to prove to others that i can.

Just a lil background info on me to get started... i haven't always been overweight. when i was in high school i played softball and was on the swim team, i was fit. I went to college did the whole freshman 15-20 but soon lost that too by joining the Cheerleading team. With practice 2 times a day and mandatory gym time it kept me active, besides walking across campus a million times a day to and from classes, practice, gym, and meetings. i felt good about myself then i was happy! Soon i left that university and went to a diff college and continued to stay in shape to attain my goal of becoming a  firefighter medic. i received my degree in emergency medical services and was to start the academy in March. While working in Dec the yr previous i tore my rotator cuff and surgery was not scheduled till April... therefore kissing the academy good bye. My dreams crushed. I didn't study as i shoulda coulda woulda for my state medic exams. so there i sat an EMT working for a private company. Bleh not what i wanted. Quickly moving on Changed jobs, moved to PSL with that Job left that job and now working as a 911 dispatcher for the past 2 yrs.
I'm sure as you can imagine from the disappointment of surgery and losing out on the dreams depression hit me like a wall. i fought that wall with FOOD. yes guilty as charged i found happiness and strength and about an extra 80 plus lbs in food.
I tried and failed may times to lose the weight and for a while i had lost about 45-50 lbs and left good and then i was blessed with news of my son. Dr told me no need to diet and that  was one bit of info i should have ignored. well i gained it back with a few to spare.
Here were are nearly 7 months after my son was born and I'm an unhappy 246 lbs
Time for a change.